MS 60 (150)

This weekend was the MS 150. For those of you who didn't get spammed with my emails seeking financial donations (I'll get you next year) I'll tell you what it is. It's a bike ride from Westminster, CO (close to Denver) up to CSU in Fort Collins. It's 75 miles each way (150 round trip...hence the name) and it's a two day trip. She's aggressive. She's definitely aggressive. All levels of bikers do this ride and it really is a great cause. All the proceeds go to the MS foundation to research a cure for MS. I'm so thankful for everyone who donated to this cause and all the support I have gotten leading up to race day.

Unfortunately (or fortunately??) I wasn't able to complete the whole 150 miles. If any of you know me, you can imagine the ego beating I endured making this decision. My knee has been punking me over the past few weeks any time I ride over 25 miles on my bike so I really wasn't sure how far I would make it. I made it 60 miles the first day and then bused it the remaining 15 into Fort Collins, and then couldn't even start the ride on Sunday. Holler at that coach bus home to Denver!!

The decision wasn't a hard one Sunday morning due to the fact I couldn't extend my left leg, but it still crushed the ego. Which got me thinking (surprise surprise). Why do I feel the need to "prove" myself to the world?

As I write this I am overwhelmed with Truth. What do I need to prove? What do I have that is SOOOO great, I need to ensure the world sees it? When I think about the most humbling experience to have EVER existed on this earth I think of Jesus Christ hanging on that cross. I mean think about it. This is a man, that was on this earth SIN FREE. He fed thousands with a few fish and loaves of bread, he cured blind men, he cured paralyzed men, He raised someone FROM THE DEAD. Now THIS is someone who had power. And He demonstrated that power when the Lord directed Him to. There was no doubt in the minds of those who chose to follow Him that this man was different.

I think about Jesus hanging there. The Savior who had come, to set ME free. To set YOU free. Filled with all the power of the Lord, serving His purpose. I think about the soldiers that mocked Him. "King of the Jews. Come down from there" as He hung on the cross. I think about how I would have responded in that situation. I can just picture it now. I summon 10,000 angels, who all surround me, they pull the nails out of my hands in pure heroic fashion. Harps are playing and little children are frolicking on the clouds. What a spectacle I would have made. As I slowly floated to the ground and the music picks up around me with a full crescendo of horns, drums, and tambourines the sky parts and the thunderous voice of the Lord bellows, "I am the Big Kat. How dare you question my authority."

But this is not how Jesus responded. Not at all. He hung there. He was mocked, He was tortured, He was stabbed, and He hung. He could have torn himself off that cross and destroyed that entire city at that very moment. But He didn't. Instead He died...for THEIR sins.

Is there a better example of humility? I sure can't think of one. He was a servant. A man with all the power of the Lord came to this earth, to be homeless, to live with lepers, to be mocked, ridiculed, tortured, and finally killed.

Again, I ask myself, "What do I feel the need to "prove" myself to this world?

After we give our lives to Christ our walk begins. Many people see that moment as the end. "Welp, I'm saved now. Catch ya' on the flip side." It doesn't work like that. Not even close. Once we are filled with the Spirit our life begins. Well, let me rephrase that. Our life ends. MY life...my life as Kate Altmaier, biking failure extraordinaire. That life ends. I am now a new woman. I am a disciple of Christ. And as I grow closer to the Lord through this time here on earth I will be constantly humbled and reminded of my purpose. The motives for my actions will begin to represent my desires less and less, and begin to represent the desires of the Lord more and more. My thoughts will not be, "Do the people on my team think I'm weak because I didn't ride day 2" and they will become "The Lord has taken me out of the ride on Sunday. How does He want to use me."

So I challenge you, as I myself have been challenged this weekend, "Why do you feel the need to prove yourself to the world?" The world will never think you're pretty enough. It will never think you're rich enough, funny enough or smart enough. If you try to please the world you will fail. Every day of your life you will fail. You will never be good enough. You can never win against the world, but you will always win with Christ. You have been created by a PERFECT God. You're everything you will ever need through Him. He will provide you with joy, happiness, and purpose. But you have to give Him your life. It sounds so brutal, I know, and I struggle with it all the time. I want to ride all 150 miles, I want the world to think I'm strong, I want to thrive in corporate America, I want to prove my value to this world.

But I have no value to this world. I have value to the Lord. He created me to desire Him, to seek Him, and to serve Him. And I can tell you this with 100% certainty, He brings me joy. Everyday of my life. Through pain, through sorrow, through failures and through challenges. The Lord brings me joy.

My walk with the Lord has just begun and as he gives me grace to chose to live in His light I know I will grow into the likeness of His son. And I know this. One day I will stand before the Lord and He will say to me, "Well done. Good and faithful servant."

I started the day with a heavy heart, and I now feel like I'm soaring.