Blacked Out

I promise I'll turn funny as I work through some of the things going on in this rowdy little head of mine. Last night I spent some time on facebook. I updated my status to inform the world (or the facebook world as we know it) about my decision to head out of The Mile High and start a new journey in Des Moines. I didn't know any other way to put it out there so all could hear the good news at once so I did the most classy thing I know...and dropped it in the status. Thank you facebook for the ability to blanket message the world.

As I went through people's pages I kept landing on pictures of who I was before I came to know the Lord. I could see the dates of each picture and each comment and although there were funny moments (Like when I saw pictures a week before I was saved and out loud said, "Oh giiirrrrrllll....you're about to be saved and you don't even KNOW it) there were definite moments of sadness.

As I thanked the Lord for what He had done to my life, my priorities, and my heart I realized my sadness was for the rest of the world. It was for all the people that haven't put their faith in Christ. We talk so much about our lives as Christians and the impact that has on our eternity. I think of 1 Peter 1: 9 where it states, "For you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls." This is such an amazing truth, and I am so thankful for God's promises about our eternity. But my sadness stems from the moment to moment living that people who don't know the Lord experience.

As I was looking through my pictures and comments on people's walls (dude...so ridiculous) I could remember what I was feeling at the moment I made those comments. My reliance on my own will, abilities, intellect, strength, and courage. I always knew there was something more...but I was fooled into thinking I could find it on my own. I remember the emptiness. The desire to be filled. It was so strong, and as evidenced by the pictures I tried anything and everything to fill it.

But God is good. And His mercy and grace are more than I will ever be able to understand on this earth. My hope was filled, my anxieties were diminished, and my heart was reminded of the promises that have been put before me. I was reminded of the importance of love, unity, community, fellowship, and friendship. My convictions for loving and serving as well as sharing the gospel so other people could come to hear truth and put their faith in the Lord were renewed.

Even as I write this, 12 hours later, my heart is filled and my soul is singing.

Kate